2.1.3 Practice Improving An Essay Answers American Isidro Caba
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How to Improve a Historical Essay: A Practice Guide
Writing a historical essay can be challenging, but also rewarding. A good historical essay uses the active voice and is orderly, analytical, and clear. It explains who, what, when, where, why, and how to the reader. It also provides evidence from primary and secondary sources to support the main argument.
In this article, we will look at some tips and examples on how to improve a historical essay using a practice activity from U.S. History Sem 1. The activity is based on a paragraph about George Washington's presidency that needs revision and editing. We will show you how to identify and fix the problems in the paragraph and make it more effective and engaging.
Step 1: Identify the Topic and Thesis
The first step in improving a historical essay is to identify the topic and thesis of the essay. The topic is the general subject that the essay is about, while the thesis is the specific argument that the essay makes about the topic. The topic and thesis should be clear and concise, and they should guide the rest of the essay.
In our practice activity, the topic is George Washington's presidency, and the thesis is that he was America's first and greatest president. The topic and thesis are stated in the first sentence of the paragraph:
George Washington was America's first and greatest president.
This sentence is a good start, but it can be improved by adding some details or examples that support the thesis. For example, we can mention some of his achievements or challenges as president that demonstrate his greatness. We can also include a brief overview of what we will discuss in the rest of the paragraph. Here is a possible revision:
George Washington was America's first and greatest president because he successfully led the nation through its early years of independence and established a strong foundation for its future. In this paragraph, we will examine some of his key accomplishments and decisions as president that show his leadership, wisdom, and integrity.
Step 2: Organize the Body Paragraphs
The next step in improving a historical essay is to organize the body paragraphs. The body paragraphs are where you present your evidence and analysis to support your thesis. Each body paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph, followed by relevant facts, examples, quotes, or statistics that back up your point. You should also explain how your evidence relates to your thesis and why it is important or significant.
In our practice activity, the body paragraphs are not well organized. The paragraph has six sentences that are loosely related to George Washington's presidency, but they do not have a clear order or connection. Some of them are out of place or irrelevant to the topic and thesis. For example:
The second sentence states that America was started in 1776 with the Declaration of Independence. This sentence does not belong in this paragraph because it does not talk about George Washington's presidency. It should be deleted or moved to another paragraph that discusses the American Revolution.
The third sentence states that he was born in 1732. This sentence is out of order because it jumps back to his birth after introducing his presidency. It should be moved to another paragraph that talks about his early life or biography.
The last sentence states that Washington's greatest example was retiring after only two terms. This sentence should be moved to the end of the paragraph because it summarizes his legacy as president.
To organize the body paragraphs better, we should group the sentences by themes or categories that relate to our thesis. For example, we can divide them into three categories: military achievements, domestic policies, and foreign affairs. We can then arrange them in chronological order within each category. We can also add transitions words or phrases to link them together and show their relationship. Here is a possible revision:
One of Washington's major achievements as president was his military leadership during the Whiskey Rebellion in Pennsylvania in 1794. He personally led a large army of federal troops to suppress an uprising of farmers who protested against a tax on whiskey. He showed his authority and strength by enforcing the law and maintaining order in the new nation. 9160f4acd4
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